Spooky Alternatives to Hiring the Licensed Trades

by Jillian Campayno. Posted in News - 0 Comments

Having trouble getting things done around your rental units? Just don’t have time to wait on a call back from the professionals? In the spirit of Halloween (and thinking outside the box), MassLandlords staff contacted the three witches from “Macbeth” to learn what spells, incantations and potions might be used to avoid hiring a plumber, electrician or contractor. Despite their busy schedule this time of year, they were all too happy to help (especially after we promised to show them around Salem). Here is what they said.

For a Clogged Toilet or Other Plumbing Troubles

Double, double toil and trouble,

Fire burn and cauldron bubble,

If the toilet clogged it be,

Recite this rhyme at half past three:

This image shows a young man in a blue short-sleeve polo shirt kneeling beside a closed toilet in a bathroom with pink and black tiles. He stares down at the toilet, casting a spell. He wears gloves on his hands. In his left hand, which rests next to the toilet lid, he holds a magic wand. Perched on his right hand, which is raised to shoulder height, there is a newt, also looking down at the toilet.

“Eye of newt and notice to quit, make my plumbing flush away sh*t!” (Image License: Derived 123rf)

If your problems reside in the kitchen, never fear:

The kitchen sink is clogged, declare!

With children’s paint and clay; beware

Of what you place inside the pipe.

Instead, shout this before dawn’s light:

Reese’s, Skittles, candy bags,

Be gone, too, these drainage snags!

For Holes in Drywall or Horsehair Plaster

Now see those holes on yonder wall,

A black cat scratched in from the hall,

But spackle is a cost too high,

For holes in walls this trick do try:

This image shows a white plaster wall with holes in it. A man’s hand, holding a spackle knife, is spreading candy corn in the holes. The candy corn looks blurred or smeared.

Between warm hands your treats be pressed, Let candy corn be holes’ redress! (Image License: Derived 123rf, Unsplash)

For glass repairs, try this:

If window panes be broke and leaky

Fix them up with something sticky

Onto breaks this poultice leave

And have a draftless Hallows Eve.

Red as candy apple shell,

Fix the cracks and all be well.

Remember: Always Dress the Part

While you’re waiting on those incantations (or Instacart delivery of candy corn), don’t forget that looking the part is half the battle. To really get into the spirit of things, dress up like the plumber you wish you were, grab your trusty newt, and get ready for a Halloween that can’t be beat.

This image shows a blonde woman from the waist up. She wears blue plumber’s overalls, a blue cap, and is smiling. One hand is on her hip, the other is crossed in front of her shoulder, palm up. A newt is perched on her open palm.

Happy Halloween from MassLandlords! (Image License: Derived 123rf, Unsplash)

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